gray days overtook the city. throughout a week, the air taste changes from spring to fall, and then winter. my mind is spinning in a windstorm of hope and despair.
the world is too big for a tiny me again. i am still caught in media avalanche, still struggling to choose, still having second thoughts. my ambitions grow like a snowball, whereas my capabilities stay the same. i am not daydreaming of success, but i keep building plans that lead nowhere due to the lack of action towards the desired.
i keep finding out how terrible i am with simple things. money managing, social skills, confidence. my days are filled with doubt and self-awareness. i avoid people, i am scared of life. how does one take action when there are so many different ways to do it?