i spend my slow days reading, walking and feeding my body. i had to strictly prohibit any form of self-judgement, i am trying to observe and catch every self-destructive thought and throw it ino the compost. it became crucial that i take good care of my soul, my state of mind and body. sometimes it's hard due to being bombarded by the social media and other people's thoughts on how to live this life. i feel alone in the midst of a storm, but i am trying to stay aware of my well-being. i do not know if it's right, but it feels right to take good care of what i have now.
strangely, it feels as if i finally allowed myself to be true to myself. i am tearing up all the time, but i am not running away from my emotions anymore. it is not easy or sexy to keep turning my own face to the unpleasant feeling, but it won't go away if i don't live through it. i don't want to be causing others pain. i want to own mine, and i want to build my strong back.
i am stronger than it seems sometimes.