every time i am coming back into the past in order to evaluate my experience and think about what and how went wrong, it makes me laugh to read my emotional flows of words. if i knew the outcome of each event, if i knew how little it matters in the grand scheme, would i be so worried, still? would i cry all those tears out, would i scratch the walls out of fear, would i feel same pain?
how great it is that i don't know! how else would i later find out it is not worth it? but the truth is, my mental health is much more important than anything. i can't let emotions make my reality up.