lost my mood today. thinking about lewis again, way too much. this asshole is never gonna come back, but i am thinking about it like i know for sure. maybe it's because of my dream. maybe it's the tiredness talking. maybe, my uncontrolled eating is sublimation. i miss being tactile. i miss loving a person. i miss sex. i miss hugs and kisses. and, of course, i miss him, but it doesn't matter.

but it will all be good. barcelona is waiting for me. everything will be clear and amazing after it. i am going to meet incredible people. i am gonna have sex. i am gonna draw everything around me. i am going to feel fantastic. i know i can do everything. i know i am strong and beautiful.