as to another issue that i'm going through right now…
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”
it is okay. it is all fine, it's normal to have doubts - it's a part of a process. i know why i doubt myself. but i have got to calm down. i'm good enough for anything. i am strong enough to follow my dreams. i am strong enough to make the life i want happen. i am moving in the right direction. everything will be okay. again, i'm rushing myself into being someone who i have yet to become, and it's a path that i have to go through. it can't happen overnight. and it's not changing myself, it's growing and becoming a better version of myself. there's nothing wrong or bad about feeling anxious or scared. i have made a decision that will lead me to what i want, and it's normal to feel scared. i haven't tried this. well, i have… but not like this. this time what scares me is a full and total responsibility that i have to take for my actions. weirdly, like this was never the case… but i never felt it like this. i am all alone now and there's no one to make me feel better and support me. only me. only me who cares. only me to actually make it happen and only me as a back-up. only me as a cheer-up, only me to be strong for. and i am. and i can. the only thing that i have to do now, in all parts of my life, is relax and calm down. it doesn't have to be quick. it's my own way. and i am doing just fine.