lewis, i am very close to destroying every trace of your presence in my life.
i can't sit here like a fucking puppy waiting for you to find your soul, i can't be so upset, i can't be that anxious all the time. you think it's okay you haven't written a single word to me for 6 days straight? you would say it's fine that i feel horrendous, desperately trying to not let my life fall apart, and you are there hanging out with cute girls ignoring me? appearing online and still - nothing? what the fuck was so important that you couldn't have found a minute to message me a simple sentence - "i am on the road and i don't have wifi, i don't know when i'll be in touch, but don't worry". how fucking hard is that?
lewis, you fucked up. you hurt me way too much this time. and it leads me to this - i can't afford to suffer that much anymore. my life is fucked up. i can't be with a person who isn't sure about whether he wants me or not. so either we are aiming to be together now, or we go our separate ways. i don't want to hear "maybe in time" anymore, i don't have a luxury. honestly, you haven't proven your words yet, none of them, about how much you love me and all this. decide whether you do or not, whether you are ready to give something up for us or not. i won't be swallowing this shit any longer. we are either partners in everything, or there is no us. the choice is yours.