the world is tiny and giagantic, i am scared to death and fascinated, i am still not sure what is right and what is wrong, but i certainly am sure of the direction that my inner compass is pointing.

(...and i still sit here with my hands on my lap paralyzed with resistance)

oh god please let it work out, let my life work out, please help me strike out of my bubble of fear and misery and an illusion of comfort.
all i want is to be healthy and to do the things i love the most - creating, exploring, meeting new interesting people and living, absorbing every joyous thing i can come around. i got so lonely i stopped believing there are people that fit me, or anyone who'd find me interesting, or anyone who could appreciate what i do. and i know it isn't true, considering the amount of people on this earth.
i do really want to give up sometimes, but the good thing is that i have no luxury of giving up. it is just not an option.