where does this stupor come from?
why do all those people write about an invisible hand that helps them, a supernatural assistant, a force getting them up once they are close to falling? and where is mine? if i look backwards, i can tell that it has been like that for me… until a month ago. or not? if i look into the future, i see darkness, complete and seemingly inevitable void. i am trying to do more than i am physically capable of. or mentally?
i am going through tons of visual information looking at the artists i admire and i get even more scared. i don't know if i ever reach that level. however, it cannot stop me from trying.

over the past couple of weeks i have realised that i hate productivity, mindfulness, success, goals and all of this popular shit. i get lost in the amount of consumed information. too much noise. too many opinions. i forgot what my own voice sounds like. i forgot i have it.