i met a person yesterday from a completely different world. he was telling me stories about elephants and monkeys jumping around a borehole in bangladesh, and about minus 56 degrees in siberia, and about clean and neat america. i love people with beautiful smiles and soft voices, so charismatic, so pleasant to talk to.
after going down a tiny pit in my attempts of making a person out of myself, i stumbled upon an article calling up to embrace chaos and disorder. so, now i am courageously embracing it. i have decided to let go of trying so hard, because paradoxically, when trying too hard, everything seems to get worse.
and oddly, with a sense of a relief i got a river of ideas and insights. i have got late night walks, music, beauty all around me and endless curiosity.
there is a place in the park which i am constantly drawn to, a spot with swings. i close my eyes in the flight and smile to the darkness. the darkness smiles back.