is this a test, a present or a punishment?

oh god, let me go, please, let me go. i realise you don't give a single shit being so casually indifferent with your "i'm catching up with my friends in prague, it would be nice to catch up with you too". i am completely naked lately, i would tell you the truth, and the truth is that my solid ground that i was standing on got shaken when you added me to friends. i am not ready to be just "people who knew each other". yes, it's been a long time since i've spoken to you. it's been a lot longer since i've seen you. but i am still not able to see you differently than my lover. call it what you want - weakness, exaggerated sensitivity, overtaking imagination, that's the way i feel at the moment and i am not destroying any emotion lately, but i don't want to suffer from your coldness anymore. piss off, same as fucking last time you are showing me how little you care, and, yes, it hurts, it hurts a lot.